I’m going to tell you something I bet you didn’t know. All animals are not born alive. There is one animal that is actually born dead.
Don’t believe me? Well, it’s true. Armadillos. That’s right, armadillos are born dead. Now, think about this with me and I think you will agree.
Have you ever seen a live armadillo? Not me. Never, ever, have I seen a live armadillo. But I have seen hundreds, maybe thousands, of dead ones. They are always seen lying upside down on a highway dead.
How did they get that way? Well, here is what some scientists have speculated. Just speculated, because I have never talked to a scientist who has ever seen a live armadillo either.
Here is what they believe. They say these dumb creatures walk out into the middle of the highway and stand there waiting for a car to come along. Then, at the precise moment a car passes over them, they suddenly get scared and react with lightning speed reflexes and jump up. And supposedly, when they jump up, they hit the bottom of the car and are killed instantly. How believable is that?
First of all, unless an animal is totally deaf, dumb and blind, it is going to get scared before a car gets there. Most animals see or hear a car coming and quickly scamper out of harms way. Some don’t get out of the way fast enough though. And those freeze in fear, their eyes getting as big as silver dollars staring into the headlights until – smack.
Secondly, is it really possible that this slow, dumb animals could have the lightning fast reflexes to jump at such a precise instant to bring it sudden death?
Thirdly, is it even remotely conceivable that these slow, heavy animals with short stubby legs can jump? This ain’t no kangaroo here. Armadillos that jump? I don’t think so.
And finally, even if an armadillo could jump, these things have a coat of armor about like a tank. How come they don’t break the steering rods causing the car to go out of control? How come they don’t knock a hole in the car’s oil pan draining the car’s oil out and disabling the engine? Same thing with the transmission. How come they don’t burst through the gas tank causing explosions and fires? When is the last time you read in the newspaper – stop, it’s 2022 – correction – When is the last time you read on the internet about an armadillo jumping up into a car and causing a car to explode, killing all of its passengers? Now as for me, I would find it a lot easier to believe they would kill a car than for a car to kill them.
How many of you have ever seen a UFO? OK, come on and admit it. Who has ever seen a UFO? Now, how many of you have ever seen a live armadillo? But really, would you be likely to believe anyone who claimed to have seen either?
So, one night I spent several hours contemplating this great mystery of all the dead armadillos and no live ones. And the answer to this mystery finally came to me.
This is what I figured out. Armadillos were a prehistoric animal. When whatever happened to wipe out the dinosaurs and armadillos, the armadillo eggs must have been compressed and sealed like tiny little pebbles. Then millions of years later, these armadillo eggs were extracted from the ground with ordinary rocks that were mixed with asphalt they make highways with.
Then, when they get real hot with the sun bearing down on those asphalt highways, these little pebbles pop like popcorn, and voila, an armadillo pops out. Of course, because of millions of years being in a dormant state, they are born dead. That’s why you see all of the dead armadillos on the highways in the south where it gets hot enough to pop them.
Dumb, scared, heavy, heavily armored armadillos with short stubby legs wandering out onto highways just to wait on a passing car to jump up into and get killed? I don’t think so. My idea makes a lot more sense.
You know, it’s probably a good thing they don’t put larger rocks mixed with asphalt to make highways. There very well could be some compressed dinosaur eggs that would be popping out on the highways.
Then how would they explain all the dead dinosaurs on the highways? They just wandered out onto the highways and jumped up into cars? Yeah right.
Armadillos are the only animals born dead.
Steven A. Green