* Before proceeding, please read the authors notes at the bottom.
All Microwave Ovens to be Banned
Recent studies have confirmed a severe impact that microwave ovens are having on global warming.
Many U. S. congressmen are already on board with outlawing production and use of all microwave ovens according to U. S. Climate Allies, an organization with oversight responsibilities concerning global warming.
The United Nations is leading the charge to make the ban of microwaves world-wide according to the Intragovernmental Caucus on Climate Change.
We recently spoke with Dr. Donte B. Leavitt, who wishes to remain anonymous, of the General Electrical Institute of Science and Technology.
It gets a little technical, but this is how he explained it in layman’s terms:
Microwave ovens generate energy/heat artificially in a way that was not in existence before. Burning wood or fossil fuels release energy/heat that would over time be released anyway. However, microwaves heat in a way that was never used before in the history of the world. That is totally disrupting the carbon balance in a very significant way.
Microwave ovens produce heat by using a high voltage magnetron. They work by two mechanisms. One is dipolar polarization and the other is ionic conduction. Each mechanism has negative effects.
The ionic conduction causes whatever is in the microwave to heat up. But what happens to the ions? And this is where the major problems come in.
The ions wind up in the ionosphere. That causes multiple issues. The increased number of ions in the atmosphere, just as with the magnetron in the microwave oven, magnify the sun rays.
Probably every kid in the world knows what that means. What kid has never used a magnifying glass to set a leaf or piece of paper on fire using nothing more than rays of sunlight and a magnifying glass? This is already causing an increase in the number of forest fires.
The second problem is that the ions in the atmosphere reflect radio waves back to earth. This generates more energy/heat being reflected back to earth. Less heat can escape the earth’s atmosphere out into space causing an increase in temperature on earth’s surface.
Thirdly, most of our satellites orbit the earth in the ionosphere. If ions continue to increase in the ionosphere, then much of our communication network could be disrupted. Imagine a world without TV, radio and cell phones.
In the opinion of Dr. Donte B. Leavitt, banning production and use of microwave ovens worldwide is a step that has to be taken without delay.
In our next article, we will discuss the findings of a leading psychologist. As mentioned earlier, microwave ovens work by two mechanisms. This article dealt with the effects of ionic conduction.
The next article will discuss the other mechanism, dipolar polarization, and the effects that is having on our mental health.
Steven A. Green
*This article is purely fictional/satirical. The names and names of organizations are fictional (Dr. Donte B. Leavitt – kinda sounds like Dr. Don’t Believe it huh?) The irony is that shortly after I wrote this story, there were serious news reports that the U. S. Consumer Product Safety Commission was considering banning gas stoves. Who knows, I may be on to something here. Perhaps microwaves will be next.